I used to think it was all about my weight, all about that number I saw every time I stepped onto the scale. The number that was always too high and never good enough. I was never good enough. I used to be obsessed with lowering this number to unreachable lows. The lower the number, the better I would be.
The obsession with The Number was underpinning everything else. I lost count of how many things I put on hold until I lost weight. Mind you I never knew how low the number should have been in order to make me happy.
In the mean time I was miserable. Hungry and pissed off most of the time.
I lost count of the pounds I lost and gain, but for every one l lost, I gained three more. Never ending story. I have been on the diet all the time. I loved food and hated it at the same time. I felt guilty every time I ate and yet I wanted more. I would punish myself if I broke a diet. I would call myself names; ban myself from doing things I love. Belittle myself. What can I achieve in life if I can’t even control what I put in my mouth??
I remember chatting to my friend and one of us saying it’s a good job we’re constantly on a diet, at least we don’t put on weight. At the time I thought it was funny.
I went from starving myself to binging.
And then I decided to f**k it. I realised that I can either keep doing what I am doing and be miserable or try something different. So I made a choice. I stop blaming my weight for things that weren’t working in my life and instead I decided to focus on improving my life and having fun in the process.
First thing I did was I stopped weighing myself. I know it sounds counterintuitive to a lot of you, but it was the first step to claiming back my power. I didn’t want my life to be run by a number of the scale. Instead of focusing on dieting, and depriving myself I started to add things in. I signed up for burlesque classes; I went to events more, connected with friends. I stopped waiting to see the magic number on the scale, and started living my live. And I want the same for you. It’s not too late to make 2018 your best year ever. It’s not too late to let go of the shame around the number on the scale and start living your life.
What life do you want to live? What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want your highlight of 2018 to be? What else is possible for you?
I’m now back from my coaching intensive and have a handful of complimentary sessions available, book yours now and explore what that life could look like for you. Let’s work on setting goals and creating a clear, step by step path for you to achieve them. Schedule your call now to make sure we get to speak this week.